Don't kill yourself, kid
This is a message for kids in school and college worrying too much about their grades - worrying so much that they can even consider ending their lives. It is really shocking and disturbing that every day we hear of kids ending their lives because they failed in a course or scored badly in their exams. We seriously need to give our education system a relook if it can drive students to suicide.
But while changing the education system is beyond the reach of most of us, let me just point out that education, for the most part, is over hyped. I mean education is important, but success in career or life is unlikely to depend on how much you scored in Economics in Class 12th. And its also not going to depend on if you did have to spend an extra year in college. The thing is that when you are in school, one extra year or one failing grade seems like the end of the world. But if you really think about it, a typical career is roughly 35-40 years long. So in that context, can a couple of bad grades way back in college really make a difference? Do you think your dad or uncle or aunt would have had a more fulfilling career if they had scored more in Math or cleared Algebra in first attempt? I agree this is easier said than done but surely it is nothing so serious to contemplate killing oneself.
The other factor is of course parental pressure and expectations. I was fortunate during school and college that my parents never exerted any pressure on me and never expressed their expectations to me. But unfortunately all parents are not like that. I really wish there was some law to prohibit parents from exerting too much influence on their kid's choices. Their intentions are alright but the consequences are horrible. I think the educational system also needs to preach more independent thinking. Kids in the West are much more independent in making their choices and hence study what they are really interested in. In contrast, we continue to give too much importance to a handful of career choices like medicine and engineering. Until this mindset changes, students will remain under unreasonable pressure to perform.
Well, I will just say it again in case anybody is really reading - don't kill yourself kids! The education system is screwed up so if you don't do well in it, it means nothing! If you parents are unreasonable with you, ignore them. They will feel bad but they will feel a lot worse if you kill yourself!
Comments
You seem to be stressing so much on not committing suicide. I think killing onself is just one, ofcourse most extreme, manifestation of the disappointment caused due to bad grade.
The whole specturm is too big. Going into desperate depression, losing one's temper, not liking the people around, not keeping up with your health, etc. etc.
What is required is just to take things not too heavily. And its not just about bad grades. About any form of failure.
I have come to realize that there is so much competition in India, that the social structure has created an environment where even the slightest form of failure tends to mean the end of world. This social structure is not going to change any time soon. People need to be aware of this pressure, and develop a temper not to yield to it.
Posted by: Govind Kabra | May 28, 2006 12:47 AM
I'm glad your aiming at the parents too.
Posted by: Santosh | May 28, 2006 10:02 AM
Santosh, more than anybody else, the parents need to be targeted - the greatest pressure is put on kids at home not at school!
Govind, I agree that as a society we look down upon failure as something unforgivable. Not only does it lead to depression, it also makes us risk averse and very conservative in our approach to life and career.
Posted by: Gaurav | May 30, 2006 12:34 AM
And then as engineers and doctors, we are not even the best innovators. Our education system, though it churns out some of the brightest minds, teaches us to think competitively or efficiently at the best. Not creatively. The level of mistrust ingrained in our psychology makes us highly risk-averse. Another reason why there are Indians at the top level in many companies, but rarely any as founders & chairmen.
The point I am trying to make is: Parents, if blessed with a bright child, by forcing the competition down his/her throat, are making a top manager at best out of a possible Inventor.
Posted by: sach1tb | May 30, 2006 07:17 AM
It’s actually about the whole system (Child, parents and teacher) which is responsible. Parents force child to get high marks, being first, emotional blackmailing. Child compares himself with other classmates and teachers mostly talks about or give example of highest marks earning students.
And above all so much work load, weekly tests, summer holiday homework- projects and being good in extra curriculum activities too. Yes, that’s also matters.
And don’t forget society- when padosi aunty comes and tell my pappu got 99 % that’s make parents to insists and child compare himself with pappu, pappu pass ho gaya, I mean, 99% le aaya toh main kyon nahi.
Posted by: Paavani | June 3, 2006 12:10 AM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:53 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:53 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:53 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:53 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:54 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:55 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:58 PM
We always try to blame the system and try to modify our environment which may or maynot help. While it is essential, that we should set realistic expectations from our children, it should also be stressed that the children have to adapt to a competitive world..What really need to be done is that parents should paly an active role as de-stressors and should be trained on part of schools and other institutions to handle kids in a proper way. A practical article on how to handle stress due to board exam s written by my clleague can be read at
www.tcyonline.com/blogs
Posted by: Viji Raj | January 22, 2008 03:58 PM
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Posted by: n00b | February 28, 2008 03:34 PM
This is outstanding ,i must say; but i would like to add one more thing on this...
TODAY the world needs skill and not MARKS ,IF YOU HAVE SKILL AND THE CAPABILITY
NO BODY CAN STOP YOU FROM MOVING AHEAD.As it can be visualised from the current scenario where even the topmost rankers are not geting good jobs compare to the ones getting less marks because they had in them ,"THE CONFIDENCE IN THEMSELVES".
Its not the marks that will decide one's future it is his or her knowledge which brings him or her out of the general crowd.
Many crammers can attain good marks but they can never be successfull in their life until and unless the have knowledge of what they have learnt...........
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