New Delhi Times

I wrote the following piecealmost exactly 1 year before returning to India.
I saw a dream last night. I saw that i was going to watch a movie with my friends. There were friends from school, a few from college too. Even Lokesh was there, so some office buddies were there as well. You cant remember all the details in a dream na. Everybody was pestering me to pay for the tickets. Amazingly I agreed to pay too. Most unlikely things happen in a dream!
Then the movie began. And as you know, anything is possible in a dream. It turned out that I was the central character in the movie. A young 17 year old ambitious boy. Everybody was teasing me saying I looked so skinny and geeky. I was wearing my old Gandhiji specs. I still have them somewhere. In the movie, I was a dreamer. I wanted to reach for the skies. They showed me studying hard, preparing for my entrance exams. I remarked to Sameer that the movie was quite accurate in depicting my story. Then this young kid in the movie went to college. He was still dreaming, ever ambitious. There were some funny incidents from my college life in the movie. Raman and I had a good laugh remembering those incidents. There was a song too. All my college buddies and me singing and teasing girls on the roads. Obviously the director had added that to please the crowds. Nothing like that happened in real life. The kid was a idealist. He had lofty ideals and loftier goals. A pinch of patriotism too. Yes, thats me alright, i thought to myself.
We had popcorn in the interval. The movie resumed with the convocation at IIT. My parents snapping my photographs in that red graduation gown. Mom looked really happy. Dad mentioned that he had stood exactly where i stood today 28 years ago. In the movie, I went on to take a job in India. I frowned, wondering if the director had got it wrong there. When did i work in India? The young man in the movie was working hard, earning a fraction of what i really earn. The director had got it really wrong here, i said to my friends. This isnt me guys. You know i work in US. And dude, i earn way more than that. I was agitated even though it was only a movie. A few people sitting in the seats behind us asked me to lower my voice. I sank into my seat red with rage. The young man in the movie (who clearly only looked like me) went on with his idealistic drivel. He was talking about staying back in India. Working for the motherland. So cliche, i thought. I felt sorry for that face on the screen. Poor guy couldnt make it to US and now was having a case of sour grapes. Rohit, my old buddy from school whispered to me he remembered me saying the same things. What rubbish! I chided him. I never said that. Who was this guy in the movie anyway. Thats not my life they are showing! Rohit just looked at me and remained quiet.
Two hours were almost up. It was the climax. The protagonist was setting up his own company in India. He had worked hard. Struggled against odds. And now he was seeing the fruits of his labor. His college mates who had gone to America looked up to him in admiration. That is so like Hindi movies, I hissed. They will show the most impossible things! That doesnt happen in real life. The hero of the movie (who was definitely not me!) was sitting in front of a computer when his phone rang.
That is when i woke up. It was 2 AM in the night. I was lying in the bed, sweating bullets. The room was very dark, very quiet. I could hear my self breathing. It seemed like the moment had frozen in time. My eyes were wide open. It took me several hours to fall asleep again. But as i drifted into sleep, I had only one question in my mind: Was I living the wrong dream?
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Am I now living the right dream? Only time will tell.